Top 10 Reasons For Getting Divorced

I thought it would be interesting to share the top ten reasons for divorce according to www.divorce.com and to share some thoughts on the same. See how many of these you can relate to:

1. Financial problems. Too much, not enough, or disagreements about what to spend money on. This isn’t a big shocker yet it does continue to surprise me that there’s so much information out there on divorce but very little on premarital counseling or premarital agreements. By the time you come in to see me it is usually too late.
2. Communication problems. “He doesn’t talk” is usually the most common complaint but I often wonder if men and women really do speak different languages and that’s why we can’t understand each other, let alone communicate what we’re thinking to one another.

3. Family problems. His/her parents, his/her stepchildren, siblings, and the like. You name it and it’s there. It seems like the most common reason for a second marriage to end in divorce is stepchildren. Having an extended family member living with you is a close second.
4. Sex problems. Too much, not enough, sex with the wrong person, sex with the same sex, or sex with the family dog all have popped in divorce cases over the years. Watch out. Not Enough Intimacy is particularly a big deal for men so pay attention.
5. Friend problems. I don’t hear this one a lot but generally those coming in to finally get divorced don’t have the same friends anymore, so I suppose this could have precipitated the divorce in the first place.
6. Addiction problems. Alcohol, drugs, indecency, food. I have seen it all and it does seem to take down many marriages like a one two punch in a heavy weight boxing match.
7. Abuse problems. Verbal, physical, emotional, intimate. Very common problem that isn’t talked about nearly enough for how frequently it comes up.
8. Personality problems. I think this is code for mental illness because depression, anxiety disorder, bi-polar, narcissistic and various other personality disorders on the DSM-IV pop up on a fairly frequent basis in my divorce cases. Little did I know how useful that psychology degree would be.
9. Expectation problems. She married him because she wanted to change him. He married her because he never wanted her to change. She did change. He didn’t. Now they are both unhappy.
10. Time problems. She never spends any time with me because she’s too busy with the kids. He works all the time. Or the opposite thing is said…why doesn’t he get a life and quit sitting on the couch all the time. I need some time to myself.