You Need ‘Yourself’ More Than You Need Mentors

Curiosity took me into the world of mentoring and its importance to the journey of young enterprising individuals who have all it takes to turn their fortunes around but would rather remain in one spot, practicing the art of “testing the microphone.” What people in this category are failing to realize, sadly, is that the so-called microphone loves being tested and usually plays along with anyone who relishes such unproductive venture.Before now, I too held the “erroneous” belief that ‘it is difficult to succeed without a mentor’ until recently when I stumbled on some startling facts to the contrary.

Do not be in a hurry to pass me for an advocate of one-man show or, worse yet, a swank that doesn’t have regard for other peoples’ wisdom. Far from it! No doubt it helps a great deal to utilize others’ experiences while making your journey from want to wealth. The problem I observed, however, is that many bright chaps are unconsciously abdicating their rights to independent thinking and planning to cling onto seemingly successful people in the guise of mentor/protégé relationships. What these young men and women may not know is that even nature abhors lack of personal responsibility. Over 85% of the great success stories you see or hear are made by individuals who summon the courage and “sense” to break away from family, friends and mentors (for awhile) and diligently work on their dreams. In case you don’t know; majority of your close allies will doubt the veracity of your dream, especially if it is BIG.

The fear of failure is a myth, like all other fears, and it takes personal responsibility to quash it. I know my weaknesses and I’m stupendously working on taming each of them. No human can help you as much as you can help yourself in this regard. Anyone that is afraid of failure is not yet ready for success. You should take your chances with life; make your mistakes; learn real life lessons; and make progress (in the process) before settling down for mentoring. One truth I must tell you is people won’t really take you that serious unless they can perceive signs of genuine evolution in your life. Take it from me; you cannot lay claim to have a true friend or mentor (yet) except you consciously build yourself into reckoning and could be perceived from a distance as a valuable asset. You mustn’t be seen as one of the several lazybones who’re only interested in taking without contributing anything. Until you’re able to assert yourself as a good material, your so-called friends or mentors will barely tolerate your presence. Successful people are busy building structures for their anticipated growth and they hate to associate with mediocre, neither do they want to be slowed down by drifters. Wake up friend; break away from mediocrity if you want to be successful. Your ability to force your relevance in either the work place or business environment is key – very crucial – to your advancement in the days ahead.

Change your tactics to measure up with the demands of the moment. If it’s necessary for you to be incommunicado with some of your friends and mentors (for awhile) as you commit to work out your life’s blueprint; please do! God will not come down from heaven to plan for you. Your friends and mentors won’t abandon their own pursuit for your sake. Gather yourself together! Sit down on your desk and begin to plot financial graphs; fine-tune your money-making strategies; set clear and achievable goals. Start learning how to effectively run a proper business system. No matter how much you are earning from your job or small business, if you are not working towards setting up a viable business system, then you’re critically endangered. In the emerging scenario, you would require more than just one source of income or talent to make consistent and significant progress. Peep into the exploits of the leaders of the industry you desire to venture into. Get to know what they are doing right, and what needs to be improved. Merge these with your own skill, knowledge and thoughts to blaze a new trail. Nothing is new anywhere! Time, discipline, solid system, persistence and the ability to project originality are the factors that’ll help you carve a niche in the big league. Put these in place and, I can assure you, the right people will naturally gravitate towards your direction.

While working on getting your acts together, all those you are looking up to as mentors should, henceforth, be seen as sources of inspiration. Study their lifestyle and general characteristics. Do not socialize with them; avoid all forms of sentimental attachment. Respect them but keep your distance. Talk to them only when absolutely necessary. Learn to take independent actions and stand by your successes and failures. Bother less about what people will say concerning you. If you are occupied with how to satisfy humans, greatness may be far from your doorstep. Some people will show you love in the open but thoroughly criticise you in the secret. Don’t be distracted! Keep doing it; just keep doing it. Soon, even your “mistakes” may define a unique style that others would begin to borrow from. Your courage and integrity should be unwavering. So you must kick off a process to develop your skill, wisdom and stamina.

While failure is an orphan, success usually has several relatives. What this translate to is that there is no discrimination whatsoever against distinction. Your friends and mentors will welcome you warmly and grant you necessary assistance if they notice signs of appreciable progress in your life. But the odds against you are quite enormous, I must tell you.  So start today to retrace your steps. Once again, stop testing the microphone; utilize it maximally and profitably. Work towards changing your limiting thoughts and find something worthwhile to do and you’ll be amazed how much you can get done in a few months.